


Alcohol is a SHIELD Survival Strategy

by orderlychaos



Series: Secret Lives of SHIELD Agents [2]
Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gossip, Is it a secret?, M/M, Secret Relationship, Teasing, Traditions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-08
Updated: 2012-08-08
Packaged: 2017-11-11 17:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/481001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orderlychaos/pseuds/orderlychaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I didn’t think you’d make it,” she said to him.<br/>Coulson smiled, his eyes holding a sharp edge underneath the amusement.  “Officially, I’m not here,” he said, taking a sip of his martini.  “I’m in my office filling out copious amounts of Avengers-related paperwork.”<br/>Natasha smirked.  “Therefore making sure none of the Avengers will dare to disturb you, in case you make them help,” she said.  “And the junior agents will avoid your office just in case you’re in a bad mood.”<br/>Coulson’s smile turned smug.  “Exactly.”</p>
<p>After work drinks are a tradition of senior agents too.  It's just a pity they won't stop teasing Coulson...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alcohol is a SHIELD Survival Strategy

“Welcome back, sir,” JARVIS’ cool, disembodied voice greeted as the elevator doors opened into the penthouse of Stark Tower.

Still eyeing her warily, the rest of the Avengers stayed where they were as Natasha Romanoff stalked furiously off the elevator.  For once, even Clint was completely silent, knowing better than to incur her wrath right now.  Natasha tried to calm her temper with a deep breath as she walked straight to her rooms, but not even her icy control was keeping her emotions in check tonight.  Stupid supervillains and their idiotic plans.

“Is there something particular I can help you with, Agent Romanoff?” JARVIS asked quietly as Natasha resisted the urge to slam the door to her rooms behind her.

“No,” she snapped, her tone clipped.  Then, because she had come to actually like Stark’s efficient AI and his dry humour, Natasha attempted to soften her tone.  “Thank you, JARVIS,” she added.

“If there is anything I can do, please do not hesitate to ask,” JARVIS said.  “In the meantime, I have taken the liberty of redirecting anyone heading to your rooms in an effort to limit further bloodshed.”

For the first time in several hours, Natasha felt the urge to smile.  Rolling her shoulders to ease the tension, Natasha began stripping off her various weapons, before she unzipped her catsuit and left it on the floor where it fell.  After a day of battling with oversized male egos – both the supervillain and half her own team – Natasha felt like indulging herself.  She lit a few of her favourite scented candles before she stepped into a blistering hot shower, the candles filling the bathroom with warm, flickering light and the scent of vanilla and berries mixed in with the steam.  Gradually, the heat eased the remaining tension in her body.

By the time Natasha was washing her hair for the third time, finally free of monster slime, she was feeling as if she could face the world again without committing homicide.  If she hurried, she could probably still make drinks.  It was another tradition for some of the senior agents to meet up for drinks whenever they weren’t on missions to gossip and generally vent about the pressures of life as a senior SHIELD agent.

Slipping on a little black dress that showed off her curves and a pair of her favourite heels, Natasha prepared to join everyone, which had lately come to also include Pepper Potts too, probably because she was Coulson’s unofficial BFF.  Not that Natasha minded; Pepper dealt with just as much crap as a senior SHIELD agent and probably qualified for hazard pay for having to deal with Tony Stark all the time.  No doubt that was one of the things she and Coulson had bonded over.

“JARVIS, do you know where Clint is?” Natasha asked as she prepared to leave.

Natasha always invited Clint to come with her to drinks, even though she knew he preferred to do his drinking in dive bars with only her as company.  It was fun, but usually in a different way.  Clint was a loner by nature and his past and years as a sniper had only made that trait more pronounced.  He didn’t always come to drinks with the rest of the senior agents, because sometimes Clint just needed a little distance.

“I believe that Agent Barton has returned to SHIELD headquarters to use the range,” JARVIS answered.

Natasha wasn’t surprised; she’d suspected he’d want his space after a mission like this one.  “If anyone but Clint asks, I’ve gone out for the evening and I don’t want to be disturbed,” Natasha informed JARVIS.

“Of course,” the AI replied.  “And if Agent Barton asks?”

“He’ll know where I am,” Natasha said with the hint of a knowing smile.

JARVIS didn’t say anything else but Natasha hadn’t survived this long without trusting her instincts.  “Was there something else, JARVIS?” she asked.

“Just idle longings, Agent Romanoff,” JARVIS said.  “Nothing important.”

“Ask, JARVIS,” Natasha commanded softly.

The AI paused.  “I would very much like to accompany you one evening.”

Natasha smiled, making a mental note to ask Pepper how they could do that.  “Next time, JARVIS,” she said.  “It’s a promise.”

 

 

 

The bar was sleek, elegant and full of upwardly mobile professionals, which practically guaranteed the other Avengers would never set foot in it.  Bruce rarely went out and didn’t drink, Steve could no longer enjoy the effects of alcohol so he didn’t drink either and Tony and Thor preferred bars much like the ones Clint did.  Natasha liked that best about this particular bar and the ones like it and smiled flirtatiously with a waiter as she passed him.  Soft jazz played in the background, probably meaning this particular choice had been Coulson’s.

Maria Hill, Pepper and surprisingly Coulson himself were already seated around a table as she approached.  Maria was dressed in a black dress much like Natasha instead of her preferred SHIELD uniform, but the others were dressed as the usually were, blending into the crowd of professionals around them in their designer suits.  Natasha arched an eyebrow at Coulson in amusement, before giving her order to a hovering waiter and slipping into the empty seat waiting for her.

“I didn’t think you’d make it,” she said to him.

Coulson smiled, his eyes holding a sharp edge underneath the amusement.  “Officially, I’m not here,” he said, taking a sip of his martini.  “I’m in my office filling out copious amounts of Avengers-related paperwork.”

Natasha smirked.  “Therefore making sure none of the Avengers will dare to disturb you, in case you make them help,” she said.  “And the junior agents will avoid your office just in case you’re in a bad mood.”

Coulson’s smile turned smug.  “Exactly.”

Pepper looked over.  “That actually works?” she said.  “Do you think I could do that?”

“I don’t see why we can’t have a meeting about integrating Avenger’s related procedure with Stark Industry policy,” Coulson said with a devious glint in his eyes.  “Say five o’clock on Friday?”

“Well, it is an important issue,” Pepper said with a smile, clinking her glass with Coulson’s.

Maria smirked, before she took a sip of her wine.  “You know, Coulson, you never invite me to things like that,” she said.  “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you and Miss Potts were hiding something from us.”

The look that crossed Pepper’s face was just as mischievous.  “Oh, that reminds me, Phil,” she said.  “You haven’t told me what happened since the cellist moved to Portland.  Have you been on any dates lately?”

Coulson’s eyes narrowed a little and Natasha hid a smile.  She was glad she hadn’t missed the teasing.  “I am seeing someone,” Coulson replied after clearing his throat a little; this was as close to nervous as Natasha had ever seen him.

“Oh, Phil, you’ll have to tell me everything,” Pepper grinned.  “What’s she like?  Is it a she?”

Eye’s narrowing even further, Coulson watched Pepper for a long moment.  Natasha took a sip of her vodka when the waiter placed it discretely by her elbow and settled back to watch the unfolding drama.  Coulson might have been as close as Natasha had for family, but if he and Clint thought they could even _think_ about not including her in their wedding, this was the revenge they deserved.  “Ah…” Coulson began, uncharacteristically hesitant.

“Coulson, is there something you’ve been keeping from us?” Maria asked.

Coulson huffed out a sigh and turned a thoughtful glare on Natasha, as if he was beginning to suspect she’d said something.  Natasha kept her expression innocent and otherwise unreadable, because really, was she going to make this easy?

Fortunately for Coulson, they were interrupted a second later by Clint, his hair still damp from the shower.  Natasha was a little surprised to see him here, because she’d expected him to be lost on the range for hours yet.  However, the soft and slightly longing look he sent Coulson explained his presence; he’d probably gone looking for Coulson in his office and not finding him, headed straight for the bar.

He stood out in his jeans and leather jacket in the seat of suits and vaguely uncomfortable because of it, but nonetheless, Clint pulled up a chair and sat down with a grin.  His gaze moved between everyone gathered around the table to everyone’s drinks.  “What did I miss?” he asked.  “Was it something juicy about Stark?”

“We are not talking about him,” Natasha said flatly.

Pepper frowned.  “Did he do something again?” she asked. 

“When doesn’t he?” Clint said dryly.

“We weren’t talking about him, anyway,” Maria cut in with a sharp smile.  “We were talking about Coulson.  Apparently he has someone new in his life, but he won’t tell us who he is.”

Clint’s eyes went a little wide and surprise flickered through his gaze.  “He?” he echoed.

Maria attempted to look innocent, but her eyes gave her away.  They were filled with a sharp, knowing expression.  “Oh, I’m sorry, Coulson.  Is it a she?” she asked.  “You never did answer us about which pronoun to use.”

“You’re all enjoying this, aren’t you?” Coulson said darkly.

“Oh, yes,” Maria replied with a grin.

“Definitely,” Pepper added.

Natasha watched as Clint’s eyes helplessly slid to Coulson’s.  He quirked an eyebrow at Coulson in challenge and Coulson’s lips curved into a smirk in response that hid none of his intentions.  Clint’s expression turned almost predatory and Coulson’s hand wasn’t entirely steady as he reached for his martini glass again.  Natasha began to wonder how no one had worked out their relationship sooner.

“Is it just me, or has the temperature in this room suddenly gone up by a hundred degrees?” Maria asked a second later, an unrepentant smile covering her face.

“Oh, I think it has,” Pepper said, elegantly taking a sip of her own wine, before she arched an eyebrow at Coulson.  “Is there something you want to tell us, Phil?”

Clint narrowed his eyes in Natasha’s direction and frowned.  Before he could say anything incriminating, however, Coulson interrupted.  “And to think I could be sitting on my couch watching Supernanny,” he said dryly.

Coulson sent Natasha a knowing look.  He might suspect she had told Maria and Pepper, but it would take a lot more than a bit of teasing to get him to admit it out loud.  “Or tazing people,” Clint added with what could only be described as a wolfish grin.  “Don’t forget how much you like to do that, sir.”

Maria arched an eyebrow at Coulson.  “Okay, we can take a hint.  We’ll drop it,” she said.  “For now.  Just don’t forget that there are two people sitting at this table training in interrogation techniques and the other one works for Tony Stark.”

Coulson, in his own typical fashion, merely toasted them silently with his drink.


End file.
